GOTHAM NEWS

President Randy: New bonkbuster brands JFK a sex fiend

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Beloved President JFK

Beloved President JFK

He’s one of the most popular political figures of all time, but a new book will trash the reputation of America’s favourite president John F Kennedy and portray him as a sex fiend.

The bombshell new book “American Adulterer,” by British writer Jed Mercurio, ignores Kennedy’s political accomplishments and focuses instead on his daily addiction to illicit sex sessions with beautiful starlets like Marilyn Monroe, Angie Dickinson and Judith Campbell Exner. And the page turner, billed as a work of fiction, is set to spark outrage among the powerful Kennedy Clan, who are regarded as America’s own royal family.

Publishers Simon & Schuster say American Adulterer, released this July, is an “explosive retelling of Kennedy’s White House years,”  a period in which “we see him at his worst, as a compulsive philanderer. “Kennedy had an uncontrollable and unrelenting appetite for sexual adventure.”

JFK’s daughter Caroline Kennedy, who is hoping to follow in her father’s illustrious footsteps by becoming a New York senator, has so far not commented on the forthcoming book.

Written by Jim McMillan

January 4, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Posted in Books, politics, Sex, showbiz

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No butts about it: Rea happy he never gets nookie

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He’s been on our screens for five decades – but Irish actor Stephen Rea says the characters he plays never gets any nookie! The closest he came to getting lucky was in his Oscar-nominated movie The Crying Game and the female ‘love interest’ in that film turned out to be a cross-dressing MAN!

However, Rea – one of the busiest stars in Hollywood – claims he is happy never getting the girl. “Can you imagine having to do all that sex in a film?” says 62-year-old Rea. “Sex in movies is not fun. There’s a lot of people watching, your butt is in the air, it’s not the most fun. You will be much happier if you don’t see my butt in the air, believe me.”

Written by Jim McMillan

January 4, 2009 at 3:43 pm

Posted in Hollywood, Irish, News, Sex, Weird World

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Everything looking Rose-y after telly witch’s IRA rant

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rosemcgowan

CRACKPOT actress Rose McGowan could ensure a low budget movie makes millions – thanks to her bizarre IRA rant. Rose, who played a sexy witch in the telly show Charmed, left fans spellbound at the premiere of Fifty Dead Men Walking,when she said: “Had I grown up in Belfast I would have 100 per cent joined the IRA.”

However, though her idiotic remarks were slammed by the producers of the movie about an IRA infiltrator,  the negative publicity has persuaded distributors all over the world to buy the rights to screen it. In her notorious rant, McGowan, 35, whose dad is Irish, added: “My heart just broke for the cause. Violence is not to be played out daily and provide an answer to problems – but I do understand it.”

Made on a shoestring budget, Fifty Dead Men Walking, which would probably only have got a limited release without Rose’s shocking intervention, is based on Martin McGartland’s 1997 memoir about a young Catholic in Belfast recruited by the British. Says a movie insider: “The people at Handmade Films who produced this were quick to condemn Rose’s comments. But secretly they are probably thrilled because they paid peanuts to make it and the bad publicity is going to turn this into a monster hit. Rose is a bit of a maverick who doesn’t play by Hollywood rules – but despite her despicable views, fans love her because she’s a bad girl. That’s why she is always being cast in dark roles as a witch or a killer.”

Handmade Films executive Guy Collins made a series of deals to sell the film – in which Rose plays a Prove femme fatale – worldwide shortly after the recent Toronto Film Festival.

Written by Jim McMillan

November 9, 2008 at 8:59 pm

“Mr Cleaver” too nuts to stand trial for shrink slashing

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THE MANIAC accused of hacking Irish psychologist Kathryn Faughey to death with a meat cleaver is too deranged to stand trial, it has been announced. Mentally ill David Tarloff, 40, who thinks he is the Messiah, is accused of repeatedly stabbing Kathryn, 56, at her Manhattan clinic earlier this year in a crime which shocked America.

As well as slashing Kathryn, he is also charged with attacking her colleague Dr Kent Shinbach when he tried to come to Faughey’s aid.

However, experts brought in to examine him say he is mentally unfit for a trial, court documents say. The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office declined to comment on the latest ruling but Manhattan State Supreme Court Judge Charles H. Solomon is expected to send Tarloff to a state psychiatric facility, where he will be incarcerated until he is found fit.

Tarloff’s attorney Bryan Konoski said: “He’s a mess. Worse than I have ever seen him.” Tarloff has been nicknamed “Mr Cleaver” by fellow inmates.

Written by Jim McMillan

October 20, 2008 at 7:33 pm

Posted in Crime, News, Weird World

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Supercop sends crack team on mission to find wife’s handbag

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THE IRISHMAN once dubbed “America’s Top Cop” is in trouble yet again after he deployed an elite anti-terrorist unit on a mission …to retrieve his wife’s stolen handbag. John Timoney, Miami’s Chief of Police, outraged fellow cops this year when he failed to disclose his year-long use of a free luxury rental car. Now he’s under fire again for “abusing” the services of the crack Special Investigations Section just to get his wife Noreen’s bag back.

The SIS is not unlike Britain’s famed SAS and usually works closely with the DEA, the Secret Service, and the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force. The department’s website highlights many of the unit’s accomplishments, including the arrest of a fugitive wanted in Italy for a bombing that killed 80 people; the dismantling of a criminal network responsible for the human trafficking of children; and a year-long investigation leading to the largest cocaine bust in the history of the Miami Police Department with $400 million worth of cocaine being seized and 11 people arrested.

It’s unlikely the website will trumpet its latest achievement – arresting an 18-year-old kid for stealing Noreen Timoney’s handbag. Noreen left the bag unattended when she was paying for petrol at a service station and a thief snatched it from the front seat of her car.

Her “911” phone call created an astonishing response. Minutes later, six patrol cars arrived on the scene, along with a detective from the burglary unit and a crime scene technician to dust the car for fingerprints.  However, that apparently wasn’t enough for such a VIP victim. A call went out to assign SIS detectives to the  case. SIS men were granted unlimited overtime to solve the crime. Nonetheless, it still took them two days to arrest the youngster.

Written by Jim McMillan

October 20, 2008 at 7:29 pm

Posted in News, Twits, Weird World

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Beastly Ghostbusters star Aykroyd branded a ghoul by Catholics

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FURIOUS Catholics have branded Ghostbusters star Dan Aykroyd a ghoul – after he suggested it could be
‘okay’ to have sex with animals. Aykroyd was one of a series of Irish Americans to contribute to Kerry Kennedy’s book, Being Catholic Now. In the book, the funnyman first irritates devout Catholics by saying he backs gay and lesbian priests. Then he outrages them further by condoning bestiality.

Says Aykroyd: “I’d embrace gay and lesbian priests, because I don’t believe homosexuality is immoral. I draw the line at bestiality because it’s unfair to the dog or the cat.  If the dog or the cat had consciousness, then that’d be okay with me.  Sexuality has nothing to do with morality.”

Irishman Bill Donohue, the president of America’s influential Catholic League, is disgusted at Aykroyd’s remarks. He blasts: “If I were a pet owner and was going away for the weekend the last thing I’d do with Fido is drop him off at Dan Aykroyd’s house.”

Written by Jim McMillan

September 21, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Denis Leary sticks Spears into Britney

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Foul-mouthed funny man Denis Leary shocked fellow celebrities this week by poking fun at Ricky Martin, Britney Spears and David Duchovny. And Leary – whose parents John and Nora both emigrated to America from Killarney – might now consider going back there for good, given the hostile reception he got for his cheeky wisecracks.

Leary, who was hosting the Fashion Rocks awards in New York, drew embarrassed titters as he repeatedly sniped at Spears and Duchovny. In one barb, Leary quipped: “Britney Spears will not be here tonight but we’re gonna do a little Britney tribute later on. I’m gonna chug a bottle of NyQuil (cold medicine), do seven shots of vodka, shave my head and make out with members of the paparazzi.”

But he saved his crudest joke for pop star Martin, who has been plagued with rumours about his sexuality, even though he recently had two kids to a surrogate mum. “Ricky Martin will not be here tonight,” Leary said. “He just had twins today. Surrogate mum. Yeah, they had to do it that way because babies don’t come out of other men’s arses!”

It seems to be a year for Leary to bite the hand that feeds him – he has also written a book called Why We Suck in which he brands Americans “fat, lazy and stupid.” In one extract, Leary rages: “I’m sick of low esteem and fake fat-suit-wearing female talk-show hosts and extreme makeovers and steroid-laden home run hitters and Reese Witherspoon movies and Paris Hilton‘s himbo boyfriends and celebrity rehab and Dr. Phil.”

Written by Jim McMillan

September 13, 2008 at 10:47 am

Posted in Celebutards, Irish, News, Pot&Kettle, showbiz

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